somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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