dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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