she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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