last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize