Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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