I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
