Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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