just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
