I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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