well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
