I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
