I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I deserve this hangover.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
