those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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