She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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