I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
