You're so nebulous sometimes
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
