Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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