white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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