That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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