you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You took a bar mat shot.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
