Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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