can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
