either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you had me at cake vodka
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
