lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I deserve this hangover.
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