soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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