What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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