I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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