so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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