Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
