If that was your dad, he is hot
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize