ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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