and next time when you feel me up, do it right
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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