Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
