The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize