all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
