Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
