Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
