this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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