butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
