Whoa Z and x make the same sound
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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