the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
