it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize