ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
