You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
