how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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