Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
