I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
