I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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