Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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