what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize