Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
