I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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