you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."