the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize