i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wish my penis had a tongue
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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