Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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