Fine. I'll sleep in my office
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
two words...techno handjob
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
