I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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