god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
