if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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