it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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