you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
