I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
