So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
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I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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