I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
